Top Tuesdays is a weekly AccessWinnipeg.com exclusive column that will feature Winnipeg’s top 5 or 10 places, things, people, and everything else. If you have any suggestions for a Top Tuesday feature, please send it to us in the submit news page.
Winnipeg’s Top 5 Car Mods Gone Wrong
No, you silly goose. I’m not out to hurt anyone or claim this post is an absolute truth. It’s just one point of view laid out for what will hopefully be your amusement. Read at your own risk. This week’s top 5 list is one that will have you or someone very close to you shaking their heads in disgust (or in denial, we know who we are). With the idea aimed at general car enthusiasts, Ephraim C. sent a PM requesting a top car mod list for this week’s Top Tuesday. Sorry Ephraim, you’re in for a ride. This week is “Winnipeg’s Top 5 Car Mods Gone Wrong”.
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5. The Black Hood Paint “fo’ dat carbon fiber look” – Can this even be called a mod? I guess it could be. I can compare this to a special forces operative wearing a disguise to pose as someone else. To make people believe who they just saw was in fact who he was trying to portray. When used in that regard, I’d say it’s a mod. It did exactley as it was intended to do: make people second guess. Very functional in most cases.
4. The Ventilated Vehicle – My car actually suffers from this. It’s a mild case, but it must be called out. Roof scoops, hood scoops, we all scoop for scoop scoops. Car didn’t come with a top mount? Did your hood or roof not pop out of the factory with holes in them? How about your Z3 fenders on your not so Z3 car? Alright fine… so you had them put on but the holes actually let air in. Don’t tell the others though, they’ll get jealous your nostrils aren’t just painted black!
3. The Wings – Needs no introduction. Double deckers and singles alike. They were even on sale at a Princess Auto I believe a while back. A friend suffering from “The Black Hood Paint “fo’ dat carbon fiber look”” told me they were like 40 to 60 dollars for aluminum ones. I’m not even opposed to these as most are, but this is one of those cases where if done wrong, it’s horribly wrong.
2. Free Advertisement – No Fear and Roxy have been on an underground automotive marketing scheme for some time now. They’ve got a lot of sponsored cars roaming or streets. Or do they? Are you advertising for a brand or company and getting nothing for it? Of course you are. This wouldn’t have made number 2 if you weren’t. Mildly insulting bumper stickers and witty decal designs are exempted. All in moderation of course. ZING!
1. The Foldgers Fart Can Syndrome – This was tough. This barely beat out the stickers for the number one spot. This can actually be (and is often) executed tastefully. The right brand and size for the right car and bumper can be a nice touch. Even better should it match and fit the rest of your exhaust. I’m all for letting those motors breathe. But what happens when your 1.5 inch exhaust is fitted with a 3 inch can? What happens when this large can is actually filled with an air restricting structure or flow altering apparatus at it’s tip for the sake of creating less than intimidating sounds? This my friends… is the Foldgers Fart Can Syndrome.
While the list can go on at either end, this was what I believe our streets suffer from the most. The “Altezza’s” were up for dispute but did not make this cut. Hope you all enjoyed it! Ken was supposed to do Top Pizzas but I stole the show. Protest about this thievery in our forums!